Days Of Danger
by ambercomemidnight
Summary: Gerard Way, previous member of My Chemical Romance isn't as well as he seems to be. His life is spiralling out of his control once more and depression is sinking in. Is Gerard able to fend off his personal demons and depression himself? (T for depression, alcohol, and overall dark theme) (one-shot)


Years had passed, everything seemed to be collapsing, and the familiar clutches of depression were creeping up on Gerard once more. Once upon a time, for roughly twelve years, depression wasn't a problem, but ever since then it had slowly crept back up on him. He had fought it off, for the sake of Bandit and LynZ, but he couldn't keep running. He'd tried music by himself, but it wasn't the same without some of the most important people in his life. Time passed all the same, and despite his efforts, Gerard couldn't hold back his demons for forever.

So he stopped running.

Gerard began drinking, because drinking was forgetting, and forgetting about the problems that weighed him down was what he was searching for. Alcoholism and depression forced LynZ and Bandit out, causing Gerard many fits of hysteria and self-harm. He couldn't rid himself of the pain no matter how hard he tried. Birthdays passed, forgotten or spend in one of his drunk rages, and time slipped through his fingers like grains of sand.

The year no longer mattered, and the rent needed to be payed along with the debts. Bandit would be turning eight, but of course Gerard would miss the party, because who wanted a drunk, good-for-nothing father attending and scaring off guests. Gerard tried very hard to sober up, but the thought of attending and being slandered by the other childrens' parents sent him into an anxiety attack, resulting in nursing a hangover every evening for the next few weeks. Gerard knew he would never be able to escape the cycle of alcoholism, self-harm, and depression.

Birthdays passed and the thought of even logging on to social media and wishing his remaining friends a happy birthday nauseated him. He could barely bring himself to glance at his phone and the thousands of notifications that appeared each day without stopping. Everything social sickened him.

The year was the time in which Danger Days was set, and roomers had been flying about since the breakup in 2013 that the band would be getting back together in 2019. It was late 2019 and indeed Mikey, Ray, Frank and Gerard had previously planned to get back together for a reunion tour of sorts... but Gerard didn't show up for any of the meetings and technical things because he'd rather try to forget the past than face it. But he did attend one meeting.

Just.

One.

It involved the get-together of the four at the old studio where back in the day, debuts and album covers/merch was discussed. Essentially, the studio was the hub for all My Chemical Romance related ordeals. So on one of the meeting days, Gerard hailed a cab to face his past. At the time of his arrival, he would have been early to the meeting had he not reminisced in the memories created in the older times. Gerard took the elevator to the designated floor where the meet up was being held. He paused at the door, listening to the voices of his former band members and hesitating before knocking. The voices ceased and the only thing Gerard could hear was the blood pounding in his ears as a result of his racing heart. He could feel his nerves frying and his hands began to shake before his body was visibly trembling. The official-like wooden double doors to the meeting room opened and revealed a curious Ray, a half-smiling Mikey (defying the previous years of poker-facedness), and a surprised Frank.

"Gerard?" Was what Gerard heard from Frank, before black quickly lined his vision and the world faded to black.

Gerard was making an effort to swim in the sea of darkness that had engulfed him. The waves slowly gained height, but he continued to try to swim, gulping in the black and attempting to not let any more into his lungs. He could survive. He would survive.

All this time Gerard wanted nothing more than to die, but now in death's clutches, he realised that it never had to end like this. He couldn't turn back though, right? There is a difference between seeing the darkness of your eyelids and seeing nothing at all, and Gerard sure as hell wasn't seeing the black of his eyelids. No. He'd gone much further and saw nothing. He'd stopped running and suffered the consequences. Gerard let the waves of nothingness settle in and fill his lungs.

"Never let them take you alive"

"We are here as a reminder that the world is not better off without you"

"I am living proof that no matter how hard life gets, it gets better. I am Gerard Way, and I survived."

But the truth was, he let them take him alive, he believed that the world was better off without him, and he was not living proof that life gets better. Gerard knew he gave good advice, but seldom followed it, which is why in his last moments of being in a coma (due to severe alcohol poisoning and body abuse), were full of regret. He joined the black parade, still full of regret after months of battling the demons of death, and failing to live as an example for the Killjoys of the world.

And he's ashamed of that.

* * *

_**Author's Note: I have been toying with this idea for a while and you are welcome in advance. Keep running and keep it ugly my fabulous Killjoys.**_


End file.
